Raise a gentleman

The other day, my four year old came from school and said, "We should not hit girls. We should protect them.". His words started a train of thoughts in my mind, while I was contemplating my response. On one side, it was an opportunity for me to teach him the valuable lesson to respect women. An opportunity to teach him that he is right, we should never hit a girl with words or actions. We should be gentle and polite to women and stand by them. On the other hand, I did not want to send the message that girls are weaker and boys are superior and girls need to be protected. While I was fighting with these thoughts, I just murmured, "Yes, that's right." and ended the conversation.

My thoughts did not end there. After thinking more I feel, yes, in the perfect world, we will not need to appoint guards to support girls. Unfortunately, we do not live in that world. Be it the air conditioned offices at corporate America or streets filled with uneducated people at New Delhi ( plus little Indian towns), girls need support and encouragement. In corporate offices, women are judged on different parameters than men. Studies have shown that women are interrupted in meetings more than men. Men do not hesitate to take credit for women's ideas or their work.  Same idea presented by a man takes everyone in awe while a woman's idea goes unheard. We need more men and women in office to build a culture where woman gets heard and gets her due credit.

Back at home (India) and in many other societies, women (Be it teen aged girls or middle to old aged ladies) need to be accompanied by so called protective men to protect the ladies from other not so protective men on streets. Street are filled with men and women alike who judge the women from hemline of skirts or 'anchal of their dupatta' (scarf to cover the breasts). We need other gentlemen who can stand up with women against these guardians of society.

While struggling with these thoughts, I believe, it is right to teach my boys that we don't hit women. We need to teach them that woman is there to be heard, to be encouraged and to be given freedom of choice just like boys. Only when we have such men, who know how to respect a woman and treat her with dignity, we will have no need to protect her.

As a mother, I take that responsibility to raise my two little boys as gentle men who know how to respect, listen and protect a woman.