Mentor Her

Mentorship is critical. As a small town girl, I have always craved for mentors. I seek guidance from my teachers, friends and their parents. Their advice and encouragement played an important part in choosing my majors and shaping my career.

Once I landed in Engineering college, I felt lost. Looking back I realize, the college was predominately filled with boys with less than 10% girls. While, boys socialized and received the appropriate guidance from their seniors. It was not available to girls unless you have support from boys. I remember joking to my friends that how having a boy friend actually helps you so much in getting through the assignments and exams.

In my first job, many design and career discussions happened over breaks. I told my boss that soon I may start smoking to participate in those discussions. Over the years, things have not changed much. Men still strategize more over the drinks or social gatherings. I secretly wish to be part of those informative discussions. But men feel uncomfortable and hesitant to invite the female counterparts.

In today's time of #Metoo moment, it is feared that hesitation will increase further. But we need men to involve women, guide them and encourage them. So don't exclude her, but mentor her. Mentor your friends, daughters, wives or yours colleagues. #MentorHer, #LeanIn   
leanin.org/mentorher
https://www.wsj.com/articles/dont-avoid-women-mentor-them-1517776842 

Raise a gentleman

The other day, my four year old came from school and said, "We should not hit girls. We should protect them.". His words started a train of thoughts in my mind, while I was contemplating my response. On one side, it was an opportunity for me to teach him the valuable lesson to respect women. An opportunity to teach him that he is right, we should never hit a girl with words or actions. We should be gentle and polite to women and stand by them. On the other hand, I did not want to send the message that girls are weaker and boys are superior and girls need to be protected. While I was fighting with these thoughts, I just murmured, "Yes, that's right." and ended the conversation.

My thoughts did not end there. After thinking more I feel, yes, in the perfect world, we will not need to appoint guards to support girls. Unfortunately, we do not live in that world. Be it the air conditioned offices at corporate America or streets filled with uneducated people at New Delhi ( plus little Indian towns), girls need support and encouragement. In corporate offices, women are judged on different parameters than men. Studies have shown that women are interrupted in meetings more than men. Men do not hesitate to take credit for women's ideas or their work.  Same idea presented by a man takes everyone in awe while a woman's idea goes unheard. We need more men and women in office to build a culture where woman gets heard and gets her due credit.

Back at home (India) and in many other societies, women (Be it teen aged girls or middle to old aged ladies) need to be accompanied by so called protective men to protect the ladies from other not so protective men on streets. Street are filled with men and women alike who judge the women from hemline of skirts or 'anchal of their dupatta' (scarf to cover the breasts). We need other gentlemen who can stand up with women against these guardians of society.

While struggling with these thoughts, I believe, it is right to teach my boys that we don't hit women. We need to teach them that woman is there to be heard, to be encouraged and to be given freedom of choice just like boys. Only when we have such men, who know how to respect a woman and treat her with dignity, we will have no need to protect her.

As a mother, I take that responsibility to raise my two little boys as gentle men who know how to respect, listen and protect a woman.

Happy Mothers Day

This is my fourth mother's day as a mom. It has been amazing, exciting, fun but crazy time.
Here are my favorites of motherhood:
Gone are the days when 'Times' and 'Business Today' used to be the first choice of magazine. Favorite magazine now is 'Parents' magazine.

Only book I have read other than the kids story books is book about 'picky eaters'. Have read 'Good Night Moon' and 'Runway bunny' at least 1000 times by now.

I am now an expert in taking shower in three minutes. I feel lucky if I get those three minutes during the day. Usual shower time has shifted to 9 p.m just before putting kids to sleep.

Every night, I hope that kids will sleep and I will be able to get 'me' time. But then call it laziness or whatever you want to, I am unable to put that kiddo sleeping on my chest; down on his bed. Hence My bed time has shifted to 10 p.m as well with one kid sleeping on top of me and other on my extended arm.

I have memorized all nursery rhymes by heart. I don't really notice listening those in car even when kids are not around. My youtube page is filled with TV shows like curious George, Mickey mouse and Disney movies.

No stress is bigger than kids not eating properly, which has been a constant struggle. Only thing which is terrible than that is when they throw up after an hour long stressful eating session.
Nothing hurts more than kids feeling sick.

Any shopping is incomplete without atleast one kids' item in the list.

The best place in the mall is kids play area. Many times this had been our motivation to go to mall on muggy days.

Extending your hand when kid is about to throw up has become like reflex action. It sounds gross while writing about it, but at that moment I don't even think of it.

I feel surprised when I find a neat pair of clothes without any food marks on it. Sometimes I have found stains while sitting in meetings at office. Now I just try to scratch those off without a hint of frown.

It takes six sittings to finish a movie. Infact movies have turned into series of episodes.

Laundry keeps piling up after several attempts to fold it on time. Sometimes these attempts get wasted when kids start jumping over the folded clothes. This list goes on.

These are just few fun things of being mom. All this is worth when the reward is invaluable hugs and kisses. I am sure all you moms can relate to this. So wishing all you super moms a very Happy Mothers Day. Special Thanks to my mom for doing all this for me and my siblings, while working relentlessly at home.

This side of the planet

I promised  myself to make a decision by end of 2014 to move back to India. With approaching deadline, I think about all the great things I will miss. Here is my list:

911: First and foremost, I will miss 911. The feeling that help is just a phone call away is great reassurance. It gives me the peace of mind. I feel secure and confident.

Public Library: It was hard to believe that membership at public library was free. Even though, I was never an ardent reader, I made good use of it. Read many books and now we borrow books for kids. Its a nice way to get  a variety of books for them. Although, there has never been a time when we did not pay fine for a book but that is another story.

Roads, Infrastructure and Driving: There is no need to say, I am going to miss the wide roads, fast cars and ability to drive myself. Less traffic jams and easy commute is a great way to explore places. You can rely on google maps  for time and directions while planning for a trip. No need to worry about unforeseen conditions ahead.

No Litter: One of the thing which disgusted me always at home was people's attitude about public roads. Roads are just considered as trash bins and are used to dump house hold trash. People do not think twice to litter on roads. On other hand, people here are expected to clean after dogs. I just love it.

Nature: I was surprised to see the green trees beneath when I first landed at Boston.  It was quite contrary to the typical concrete jungle image I had, from KJ's movies. I have fallen in love with this. I could never imagine the visit from deers at office. Whereas spotting deer or moose is a common and refreshing sight.

Air at home is highly polluted. All thanks to ongoing construction and running factories and vehicles. Side effect of pollution is sky becomes dull. I was shocked to see starless sky on my recent visit to Delhi. But here, I can gaze at beautiful sky full of stars for long. One of my favorite activity with my son.

Weather: Never thought, I would say it. I just hate the SNOW. We get lot of snow here at New Hampshire. But, I am surely going to miss the experience of changing weather. All four weathers have their own charm. Spring brings the life back. I love the chirping  birds and blooming trees. Summer provides a great opportunity to go out and have fun at beaches or outdoors. Fall is very special and brings beautiful colors. And then comes the white snow colored winter and beautiful Christmas. Definitely going to miss it.

People: One of the reason to go back is to be with my own people. I crave to talk to my own people in my language. But at the same time, I know people there are nowhere as polite as here. Its such a delight to even talk to a stranger here. In general people are polite and helpful. You don't need to risk your life to cross the road. Cars will stop for you. You don't have to  fear being crushed  while boarding a local train or bus. Not only I can be fearless while getting out, I can also have faith that if I loose something, I will get it back. I can never forget how I got back my new lost camera or my gold ring (both lost at mall). I even got my lost external storage disk after three years. Thank you all for being so nice.

Online Shopping: Even though, e-commerce is catching up at India but its still in nascent stage. Being a lazy bum myself, I love the convenience of getting stuff delivered at home. It saves a lot of time and energy. I am hopeful that I will be able to make use of local shops at home as its replacement.

Food: I absolutely love Indian food. Being a vegetarian I have limited options in other cuisines. But, I am still going to miss the variety of cuisines I saw here. There is no shortage of my favorite  Italian or Mexican or Thai places or  my less favorite Japanese, Sushi places (pun intended). It provides a great variety for your taste buds.

Freedom and Safety: Love the freedom and respect given to women here. I have never felt so confident and safe being woman. I feel the confidence of achieving anything by being here. I feel safe while going out and do not feel anxious for my kids. This place has taught me that woman is not anyone's private property. She can have her own life, own views and believes. She does not need to always act  as daughter, wife or mother. She can be an individual with her own life and aspirations and should be respected for that.

And the list goes on. I certainly experienced great things here. I will always cherish the time spent. Thank God for giving me opportunity to experience this.

Happy Friendship Day.

My dear best friend,

I have been missing you very much lately. More than you, I am missing the time spent together. I have your number and have thought many times to give a call. But, then I feel making a call will dissolve the memories, I have treasured for long. What if you have changed and what if I don't feel the same warmth as before. I don't want to give away the only thing I am left with as a token of your friendship: memories of time spent together and all the silliness we have done together. After all we have not really talked in years like we used to. What if you have moved on and have left old relations and friendships way back. But, then I think, we have shared common things in past. So even if you are changed now, we should still have similarities. And that makes me believe that you will be missing me as well. With that note, I smile and wishes you a very Happy Friendship day.

If you read it and get the message that this is for you, then we still share the special bond. If not then, I will hold the memories in my heart to be cherished forever.

 Luv,
 -Neeru

Home is Home

All desis who come to US either short term or long term, have one thing in common: One day, they want to go back to their country. We are no exception. Like rest of us, we came here thinking that we will be back in couple of years. And like most of us, we are here for more than five years now. But recently, we have been contemplating plans to move back. I have assigned a dead line to myself. Have decided that if we don't go back by next year end, then we are no more thinking about going back.

Relocating is always a big thing. When it comes to relocating to a different country miles away its even more difficult. But with my goal in mind, I asked one of my friends who recently went back about how do they feel. Since they have been in the same boat, their experience is quite relevant. She gave me the answer I was looking for. She said, you need to have a clear idea why are you coming back. Life is not easy as in States. Even if there is lot of progress being made but lot of challenges still remain, specially in day to day life. You can easily get frustrated by the system. It takes a lot of time and effort to get obvious things done. You can easily get frustrated and start regretting. But when that happens, you need to remember the actual reason why you moved back. That made me thinking, and here is this post to myself, elaborating why I want to go back:

1) First on the list is the Festivals: Even though, by no means we are a very enthusiastic family who celebrates festivals with a bang, but its the euphoria around you which touches you. When you see the chamak of Diwali lights everywhere, be it on roads, offices, TV soaps or neighbors, you automatically come into the mood of celebration. You can not remain untouched when you see your neighbors whitewashing their homes or making rangoli outside. Its the child hood memories of festivals which makes me celebrate those. I want to show my kids the same heritage.

I don't want to think about office on Diwali. Sheer joy of greeting one another or exchanging gifts and sweets with friends and family on common festivals is overwhelming. I miss going in a packed shop to buy beautiful bangles just before karwachauth or shop for the best rakhi for my dearest brother. I miss the Janamashtami night when all the temples in street are adorned and kids drees up like kanhiya ji or gopis. I miss the colors of Holi even though I never liked drenching up in water. I miss the moongfali and revrhi and 'Sunda Mundriye' of Lorhi. I miss the early morning going to rooftop for flying kites on Sankranti.

Yes, there are many festivals here, but I still have not learnt how to celebrate those. Basically, I am ignorant and don't really know what you do on those days (Thanks giving, Christmas). Yes we get holidays on those days, but that makes it even more tough. Holiday means nothing is available in market. You can not even go to mall or restaurants. I remember searching for at least one pizza joint on thanks giving with no luck. So you can not go out and since I have no family here I can not go to them as well to celebrate. Since, I don't know what to do on these days, I wonder how kids will learn. NO, its not the life I want for myself or for them.

2) Family: As its obvious from #1 that fun of celebrating any festival or a special day is when your loved ones are around. My family is miles and miles away. It not even possible to make a phone call when I truly miss them. I have to look at clock to decide if its appropriate to call. So, that leaves me with weekends to talk. Even when I make a call, its difficult to relate to the mindset of the other person. They are almost ready to hit the bed if I call in the morning. I am in my morning rush of preparing breakfast or taking shower or start the day. Its so difficult to relate to one another.

Now here, I am talking about first family, but what about extended family. Its been so long since I spoke to my masis or bhuas. I don't get time and since they have to make International calls I can't blame them for not calling me. Making phone call itself is so difficult so its a no brainer that you can't think of meeting your family or extended family members. My son is 15 months now and no one except my mom has seen him yet. My grand mom passed away last year and I could not even meet her in more than five years. She could not see her first great grand son.

Weddings, two years ago I almost cancelled my trip to attend my own sister's wedding. Forget about cousins or friends. I have not seen any of my cousin's better halves or kids yet. I miss attending weddings and being part of all traditions. I miss getting crazy while shopping for wedding ahead. I miss getting together with cousins and their kids. I want to see my brothers and sisters more often. I want our kids to grow together.

From my child hood the sweetest and most cherished memories I have, are those when we went to naani k ghar on each summer vacation. Wonder where will my kids go or will they even understand naani or maamu ka ghar. Will they ever get the chance of being pampered by younger maamu or maasi.

Its not just about happy times. In this far away country, whom to call when you need someone when you are sick or at hospital. Yes, we have been fortunate to have some good friends around, but still its difficult. Same time, what to do when your family needs you. You cannot just buy a ticket and fly.

3) Language, Clothes : Yes, I can speak English and can understand it with accent now. But, that is not my language. I cannot express myself in this foreign language. I still can neither crack a joke nor can I understand one in English. I don't get their context and am sure they don't get mine either. I am unable to feel that personal touch with people I see daily. Though people here are more nice and polite than my own people, still I cannot relate to them. Their problems are different, their way of living life or work is different. As my visa status says, I feel like an alien.

Coming to clothes, its not like after moving back to India, I will start wearing saree to office. I will still wear the comfortable jeans. But, I love my desi dresses, the vibrant colors, the beautiful bangles, Heavy embroidery or soft silk.

4) Movies: Hollywood movies might be more logical and more practical and fun but I want to watch apni Bollywood movies. The larger than life stars, their promotions, tv shows, their masala news. That fills up a big part of your day. I still have not figured out a single tv serial here which I like and I wait for.

5) Food: Food is not at the bottom, but I am just not that hungry right now. Yes, there are more cuisines here. You can get Italian, Japnese or Thai or Mexican whatever you want to, but nothing can beat the swad of eating tikki chat or ragdha samosa or pani poori from roadside (I admit I might not be able to eat that anymore, even after going back. Call it NRI effect). What about mouth watering desi sweets, Jalebis or amertis or lassi makhan maar k.

6) Roads: Oh yes I miss roads. I know roads and infrastructure are terrible in India. But I want to get back my ability to walk on roads and streets. I don't want to drive a car for 10 mins walkable distance. I want to do window shoppping at paalika bazar and commercial street walking.

There are many more subtle things. Even though, I love the personal independence and opportunity I get in this country and the convenience and security it offers, but home is home. As I always say, you can go to a five start hotel for a vacation but soon you start missing home no matter how unorganized that is. I want to go HOME soon. Disclaimer: This is by no means a generic post. It is very subjective and personal. Different people can have different priorities and they make choices based on that. There is no wrong in either staying here or going back. Ultimately, its what makes you happy. This post is mainly for myself. Its a note to self, which, I can look upon whenever, I make my choice.

I envy home makers.

Till date I felt proud in calling myself an ambitious career oriented girl. But, I envy those women who have an option to sit back home and do the daily chores. Home makers, who don't feel guilty of not working. They get all the happiness by making delicious dishes for their husband and kids and extended family members and friends. They may get worried about increasing food prices but fluctuation in stock market does not bother them. Few words of appreciation for the food they prepared give them more happiness than an annual salary review. Their happiness quotient is far too higher than any average working woman. They get all the pleasure of life. They get the privilege of seeing their kids growing. Yes, they may have their days of stress and discomfort when they need to bear their mother in laws all day long. But then, that is better than jellofi (bear) your arrogant boss. They can take nap when they feel drowsy and go for shopping whenever they feel like. They don't need to sip cups and cups of kaffine to pretend that they are awake.

Wonder why the heck people call these home workers, soft and weak.They have actually got the covetous job which all the working people aspire for.

My dream company.

When I was a student, I wanted to be a teacher. Because, I always had many ideas to make teaching better, to improve students performance and to teach life lessons to them. I got this opportunity for a short while after college. I feel very content with the way I taught. Mainly, because my class not only loved me, but I earned respect from them. I am not saying this to just appreciate myself, but students have shared these feelings. Best proof is, even after more than five years they are in touch and ask my opinion in making choices. Class's overall passing percentage was more than 80% (without any outside coaching). Same class had 20 -30% success rate in other subjects. This was a great feeling of content. I think my, childhood lessons paid an important role in being successful as teacher. I hope to teach sometime again in my life.

After teaching, I have been working as software engineer for many years now. Have got chance to work with both big giants and small start ups. While working, I always dream about how will my own company (one day) look like. Here are my thoughts:

* No one in my dream company will work for more than eight hours a day. That includes lunch and tea breaks. Along with that will ensure that no one actually works less than seven hours a day. I have spent 12 hours at office. But never any good came out of that. Mostly, the time I spent beyond normal hours deteriorated the quality. Forced me to work more the next day to fix the mistakes I did, when I was tired. Needless to say, demotivated me and increased my frustration.

* Working hours will be 9-5, 10-6 or 11-7. That will give people flexibility of time, but they will still have common hours to work with each other.

* Saturdays will be the optional holidays. Employee can either take off on Saturday or on any other week day. This will give employees more time to finish their chores. As most of the businesses are close on official weekends.

* This is difficult to implement but my favorite. From my personal experience, there have been times, when I had no work to do. but could not leave office before 6 PM. You all know why. In my dream company, it will be target based. Any one who accomplishes his tasks/targets on time can leave for the day without any guilt. Of course, its not straight forward to implement. But its achievable. Just need to take care of many other factors before implementing this. Like ensuring that everyone has enough work in front of them before start of day and every one is self motivated and have the feeling of ownership.

* Each employee will have 1-1 session with their mentors at least once in a month(Not managers). This solves two purposes. First, the mentor feels powerful as he gets a chance to lecture some one (everyone loves that). Second, this helps in understanding the employees expectations and provides a platform to motivate him and explain him the common motives of company. Usually, company's have annual reviews. But those reviews are used as means of promoting or firing employees. All through the year, employee never gets to know about his weaknesses or strengths. This not only demotivates but also adds frustration.

* To accomplish above, One important aspect needs to be taken care. Give mentors authority to make decisions. This is more essential from the juniors point view of whom the mentor is grooming. This imparts confidence in them, that if they share some thing with their mentor, he will take care of it. And obviously, it imparts motivation and ownership in mentors.

----Contd

Many of these points are sheer common sense, but still not found commonly.

10 reasons I love twitter for,

10 reasons I love twitter because:

1) I can follow any one without waiting for their approval. And Anyone means anyone from SRK to Bill Gates and learn about them. Get first hand information than hyped media.

2) Unlike facebook or orkut, I don't feel obliged to write comments on the status message or photos.

3) I can get the trends and see what other people in my region are thinking.

4) I can get to know about any internet service(Gmail/FB etc) going down by searching for live tweets and can make sure its not just me. (This one is my favorite.)

5) I can search for holiday plans and get ideas.

6) I can follow various events at my local library and neighbor hood club.

7) I can follow my favorite companies and get to know what are they up to.

8) I learn to be more precise in my thoughts since I got to express myself in 140 chars.

9) I don't get to peek in others life in which I am not interested. I don't feel the stress of my tweet being liked or disliked.

10) In the end I feel connected to the world but still get my own space.

Thank God they did not blame Pakistan for the mess at CWG.

Have been hearing about Common wealth games for past eight years. Madam Sheila Dixit won three consecutive terms because she was projected as making Apni Dilli a world class city on behest of CWG. Finally, the most awaited year 2010 arrived and all the preparation started tasting bitter. For past couple of months am listening and reading about it in all the papers. Today was extreme. I almost fell into tears while listening to BBC on the way to office. Why is it that each time word 'India' appears on TV/Radio its always associated with corruption & poverty. Still have doubts whether its the poverty which makes people corrupt or its the other way around.

Have many 'whats' and 'whys' in my mind. But want to think deeper. Is it just because of corrupt politicians and contractors.

Not explaining what is going at CWG but have many questions.

1) Why did India take this project? Was it just because our neighbour flaunted its power in Olympics.

2) Even if the govt took this project and wanted to showcase the shining India, why were these contracts not distributed to private firms.

3) When will out bureaucratic system end? When will people start taking responsibility? But the bigger question: Is it only a problem with 'Babu logs' or is it the issue with our basic upbringing. I believe its the attitude. I have seen in many occasions that even in prestigious IT sector other than handful of people most of the guys still want to enjoy the luxuries of Babu's without actually doing any good work. Even if they are forced to meet targets the quality of work is not equivalent to their international peers.

4) Where did billions go? If they had spent even 1/4th of the money on actual development of Delhi at least they could have contained river Yamuna.

List keeps growing. I don't know how the issues can be solved but I just want to know how can I be a part of change. In the end I just thank God that "They are not blaming this failure to Pakistan."

Good old days.

I was trying to make a call to my mom. But she was not picking up. Tried multiple times but in vain. I got little worried. So, tried our neighbor's phone. After talking I felt relaxed. But, moments later, started thinking. In this era of mobile phones, when I don't event remember my own mobile number, I could recall three of my neighbors' numbers. That made me nostalgic and took me to my childhood memories.

I remembered these numbers because our entire street got their landlines on the same day. Three of us have phone numbers in sequence(34006/07/08). I clearly remember the day when we got these numbers. We had applied for land line for four years. The process of installing wires in our region took weeks. And one fine day, telephone exchanges waale uncle came to each of our house and installed the handsets. We all kids were too excited and so were our parents.

Before this, almost four streets shared one phone. I am talking about long before STDs and PCSs became popular. There was only one house in the entire region which had phone. Each one of us gave that number to our relatives as emergency contact number. That uncle was a retired army person. He used to charge 50 paisa to listen to his phone. Thinking about it now makes me laugh.

Whenever my sister and I visited our relatives' place who had phone, we made calls to our friends when no body could see us. Infact sometimes that was the only reason we visited them.

No need to say that time has changed. Now there are more phones in a home than number of family members. But Those were good old days.

True reward comes when you least expect it.

Since childhood, I had been hearing that Geeta says 'Karm karo phal ki ichha naa karo' Do you duty and don't expect any reward.It never went to my head.How can someone work without thinking of any reward.Especially in today's competitive economy.Can you think about working on something without worrying about returns.But,finally I understood its meaning.Actually this is an epitome of life.When you start working on something without looking at returns your entire energy shifts from hanging fruit to your work.That energy transforms your work from good to better and better.You become much more efficient.You start enjoying your work.That adds great value to your work.When you stop taking work as means of getting some thing back but as something you want to do,you do so much more and better.And when you give your best,reward becomes inevitable.It automatically follows you.You get beyond your expectations and that gives you the true reward-Reward of greater happiness and appreciation.

What else can you enjoy more!!

Is modern synonym to west?

On hearing the word 'Modern' the term 'western' automatically pops in.I kinda agree that modern actually means western or in other words west is modern.But I completely disagree with the picture of west which is usually projected.For a common person in east a modern person means a person who wears western clothes,smokes,booze or go to discos.While these attributes are completely acceptable for an eastern male but for females they are completely No No.Well I am not debating the discrimination between males and females.My point here is do these terms actually describe the word modern.Is west all about clothes and parties?
I strongly disagree.In my view a person is modern if he can think and think logically and objectively without any prejudice.A person who is ready to accept the change.Someone who can understand the rules of society and knows the importance of it.Who can understand why those rules were laid and weather they still hold good.Who is ready to change these rules for the good of society.Who is not ready to accept those obligations because these existed or because his grandparents or his parents followed them.But he is ready to fight against or for them as he understands their importance.Someone who is ready to adopt the good without discriminating against its origin.At the same time someone who understands his and his societies weaknesses and is ready fix them.A person who respects not only his culture or religion but others too.
In all these attributes west is modern.People at west do not just destroy something because it is influenced from east.They don't vandalize other places of worship because those are not according to their religion.They treat their wives and mothers and ladies with respect and dignity.They adopt the good attributes from everywhere be it Yoga,Ayurveda,Clothes or Food.Take any modern female from west to the streets of Delhi.I bet in two days she will ask you to buy her a pair of 'salwaar kmeez' unless she already came prepared.Because a modern person understands and respects others culture.(I at least had two such instance in front of me).
Take a look at history-you will find modern people everywhere.I am thinking of Raja Ram Mohan Roy.He was undoubtedly a great modern visionary.Can you believe we were actually burning widows alive on the name of rituals.If modern people like him had not existed we would have been living in the stone age.
Hence wearing western clothes does not make you modern but its their thoughts which made west modern.

What a difference!!

For past few months it was all chaotic. I was restless ,mind was wondering in all the possible directions. was feeling like I am lost in the world. Had no clear vision of what am I trying to achieve. Root of all this "My Job Hunt".(Experiences while hunting for a job needs separate post).All that chaos resulted in lost of direction. Everything,I was doing was just dumb. My work at current job was going in a hole. I was extremely dissatisfied of all the efforts. Feeling of 'good for nothing' started to dominate.
All this frustrated me enough that I decided to not to run in this rat race. Have decided to be more calm and think through my actions than just running purposelessly. Decided to focus on what i actually love - Reading and my job. It did not take longer to feel more relaxed.The moment I decided to focus my work efficiency improved dramatically. I can feel it my self.This feeling gives me immense satisfaction.Helps me in gaining my confidence back.Makes me realize that I am not that bad. Helps me in taking things lightly. Helps me in knowing what I want.Helps me in coping up with the pressure.
I am pleasantly surprised with the power of mind.As my husband always says ,"its all in mind".It truely is. Nothing has changed in terms of my current circumstances .I am still looking for a job but I am feeling much more content and confident.

Situations and Priorities

Few days ago my planning list included a vacation plan .Preparation for higher studies.Buy Diwali gifts for friends and family. Do shopping. Read magazines, books. Think and plan about savings.Search for a dream home.Buy a new Car.Relocate to a place closer to work.Think about my office work and make my code better. Then, I got the news that my Job is in jeopardy.Ever since I got that news my priorities have changed.

Now, I don't spend time in any of my favorite activities like reading blogs or books.Not able to concentrate on any book be it magazine or official guide to GMAT.I no longer enjoy the work I am doing at office.Can feel that my performance at work has declined sharply.Good number of websites,I visit include Job portals or prospective employer's websites. All I read,now a days, is about available job opportunities and job descriptions. Suddenly, my phone is seeking the most of my attention while waiting for an interview call. I read technical books to memorize the jargon which I have forgotten.I need to remember my previous projects.I have no clue weather Real Estate market is inclining or declining now. Plan for buying home or new car has been deferred.

Thinking,how priorities change suddenly.How a single day can change the plans forever.

Does she deserve our Empathy?

Today's Headlines - Nalini begins indefinite fast in Vellore prison


What the *$%&# ?Whats wrong with our country. Any one can go to hunger strike? How can an accuse of assassination of none other but countries' Prime Minister has guts to do that. Does she realize the depth of crime she has committed? I don't care how many years of imprisonment she has served and whether her only kid has no one else to look after. All I know is :she is an accused of murder of PM. No matter what her circumstances were and why she committed that heinous crime. Whether she was ignorant or not. But I want everyone to know that there is no escape route once you are involved is such an act. So think not once or twice but hundred times.

Also whats wrong with Ms. Sonia Gandhi and Ms Priyanka Gandhi? With due respect want to say that Don't look at Nalini as a murderer of husband or father.Please don't try to take any political advantage by advocating early release for her. She is a murderer of Prime Minister of India. Entire country lost a valuable and honorable leader. She deserves no empathy.

She should remain behind bars until she dies. Be it due to hunger strike or suicide or natural death.

Pardon me for my harsh comments.

On the other side of equation

Yesterday,I got the news that my project is ending in two months and for next project they will not need any workers here. They are going to outsource it to the teams at India, China. Makes perfect business sense.But that is not a happy news for me.As that means I will not have a job in few months.

Other than several thoughts which pass my mind -like what next, how are we going to manage and blah blah ,I was also thinking about the reason given to me. It was easier to just blame and start hating Bl**dy Indians if I was not one among them. Certainly, I can't do that. That is my home.I got my first job there because of outsourcing itself. Did I think at that time that this job actually belongs to some one else.So obviously I don't have that choice of cribbing for the cause which benefited me some time back.

Though, I have an option to go back to India. But Is that a guaranteed success path? Probably not.Sooner or later some other countries will emerge with same skills but less cost. So does that mean my skills are getting cheaper day by day? difficult to answer but answer is 'Yes'. Hence moral of the story is In this new globalized world need to develop skills which are not so globally available.

Luck Vs Karma

Have you heard people saying - "Its all pre decided. You cant do much about life. God has written your faith even before you were born". I have heard it numerous times. Every time I hear it I wonder then why do we need to work. Why do we need to work even hard. Why don't we just sit and relax.After all everything is pre decided .Things will fall in place by itself .We have to do nothing. But then the same people start saying ,"You should do your Karma and forget about reward".Geeta says that.

It always leaves me wondering which statement to believe in.Though I am a strong believer of Karma but then what is this luck all about.Is it just a condolence term?

After years of thought process ,I finally came to conclusion. Both statements are equally true. Its like a flow diagram.Complete flow is predefined but then there are decision boxes. At various points in life you need to decide and make choices. Rest of the flow depends on the choices you made.

So though everything is pre written and pre defined, depending on your Karma you will encounter different choices. And as I said earlier these choices impact rest of your life


So moral of the story is - Life is all about choices you make.

Do we need Innovation team??

'Innovation' is the new trend. Companies are spending thousands if not millions to be called innovative and survive in the continuously changing world. But how to identify the innovative ideas.Many companies actually have teams and people designated for innovation. But could this type of arrangement actually work and succeed.

Yes this is the general practice at many places. But normally this practice limits the true innovation. People who are part of so called 'innovation team' are either so busy in innovating that they actually miss the true essence of it or they start thinking of themselves the only 'Innovators' around.

On the other hand people around them become so complacent about all this 'Innovation' talk that they think -Its not my job. Even if they have better idea they feel no one will actually listen to them or explain to them and they prefer to remain quiet.

Doesn't this actually kill many potential successful ideas before they are born? I am not trying to say the ideas presented by non designated people will be significantly important . But not listening to those ideas actually inhibits the further thought process.

I believe -A true innovative idea can come from anywhere even from a kid or form an outsider. So having a team or a person dedicated for innovation is not only wasteful but harmful too.

In my view there should only be a team who implements innovative ideas but not solely designated to innovate.The responsibility of innovation should be given to everyone and should be shared by all.

Google It!!!

As I always say - 90% of Software development for 90% of Software Engineers will become impossible if 'Google' vanishes suddenly.

All the Software Professionals know what I meant by above. For rest its like whenever a software developer encounters an error : doesnt matter whether he has seen this error before or not but he knows the solution.And the solution is - Yes! Google It.

I was just thinking the way Google has replaced all the dictionaries ,encyclopedia and books :Is it coming closer to replacing 'Leads' and 'Mentors' and teachers and your 'social friends' and may be Doctors too? Because Google has solution for each and every problem. If you dare to ask your mentor a doubt-I am sure he will reply back saying "Havent you googled it?" So why do you need him ?

If your friend just starts talking about some stuff which you have no idea and dare to ask - he might point you to http://justfuckinggoogleit.com .Yes that happened. Isn't Google just destroying all your social network(Not on Facebook or Orkut).

If you are worried about pain in chest -just google it and see if you actually need to worry or not? Google will tell you that chest pain could be simply because of acidity.So skip some caffeine and save an expensive trip to your Doctor.

Moral of the story is --If you have any doubt or question no matter related to your health or career or personal - just Google It!!!